About me | Vrij Communiceren | Tamara Catharina Janmaat

I’ve always been honest. But connecting? Not necessarily.

I used to say things as they were. Unfiltered. Not to hurt, but because I didn’t know how to tell the truth without losing people. I didn’t believe it was possible, until I started learning. Not from a book, but by doing it: awkwardly, painfully, and through a lot of trial and error.

I’m grateful I began before becoming a mother. What I now give to my children - space, honesty, softness, presence - was what I once longed for myself.

My relationships are raw and real. In friendship, there’s more truth. In partnership, room for difference. In conflict, doorways.

This work hasn’t brought me control or perfection. It’s given me deeper ground, and relationships that are alive.

That’s what I want to pass on - in my work, and my way of living.

Communicating freely. Sounds great. Now try it.

Being yourself in a world full of boxes, opinions, and rules isn’t a given.
It’s an art, and a practice.
Not alone, but together.
Because on your own, you often slip back into old patterns, swallow your words, or speak too harshly.

That’s why I believe in practice. In real contact. In playing with life as it is.
Not to master perfect communication, but to become freer - in how you think, feel, speak, and live.

This website gives you a taste of that practice,
and whether it resonates with you.

My way of working?
Active, playful, inspiring, and honest.

No tricks. No step-by-step plans. What I offer is space - for who you are, and for what can arise between you and someone else.

I invite you to explore what being yourself means for you.
What connection is, beyond pleasing or persuading.

I walk beside you - in your relationships, at work, in your team, in your family. With stories, exercises, and honest questions, we bring movement to what was stuck. Not always easy. But real.

We explore and play - not in theory, but in conversation.

I trusted trees more than people

As a child, I found calm in nature and in creating with my hands. People felt complicated. Unpredictable. Even frightening. Still, curiosity won over fear: what drives people, what lights them up, what breaks them open?

I became an architect, designing places where people and nature could meet. Meaningful work. But it was in the mud of a refugee camp on Lesbos that I learned what connection really is: not planned or polished, but raw, honest, alive.

Something shifted. Since then, I’ve followed the trail of real connection, through social work, community work, and into what I do today: creating space where we can truly meet.

I still trust in trees. And in what’s possible between people when we dare to be real.

I always return to the same core

For the past twenty-five years, I’ve worked in many places; at drawing tables and on public squares, in community centers, schools, and kitchens. I’ve shaped spaces, projects, and conversations that matter. Always drawn to the places where people truly meet, where it rubs and flows, where meaning is sought, where we keep trying to contribute to what matters.

My work now brings together all I’ve learned and lived. Nonviolent Communication is both the foundation and the flavor.
Trauma awareness, embodiment, and a systemic lens travel with me. I’ve worked with parents, teachers, care professionals, teams, activists, and leaders - real people, rich in color and story.

Again and again, it comes down to the same questions:
How do you listen, really listen?
How do you give words to what lives inside?
How do you stay human when things get hard?

Whether with a team that’s stuck, a couple finding words again, or someone daring to be themselves — my focus stays the same: clarity, choice, and connection. Making space for what matters. And giving it words.

What else?

My working life is as varied as I am. I started at twelve, delivering magazines, and have done many different things since. From hospitality to architecture, from teaching to mediation, always at the crossroads of humanity, imagination, and connection.

I’m married to Vincent. We have two children: a remarkable son who teaches us daily what it means to listen, slow down, and choose what truly works for all of us, and a butterfly-like daughter whose sparkling zest for life keeps my heart wide open. Her middle name is Vive - “lively” - and I already felt that when she was still in my belly.

I love coffee - caffeine-free, for as long as I can remember (otherwise I’d bounce through the day). I’ve been alcohol-free for almost ten years, but still love a good toast - with 0% bubbles or beer. I eat vegetarian, unless my body clearly asks for something else. My body gets the final say.

Travel is in my blood. I’ve lived abroad twice, and after a few years in California, we’ve now landed in Haarlem.
Vincent is French, we met in Sweden, and our love has quite literally been a journey around the world.

Nature is my home. Let me wander the dunes, walk into the forest, or sit by a lake doing nothing - that’s where it gets quiet inside. That’s where I breathe again. I love open water, wet hair, and mud between my toes.

Creativity is my second nature. I’ve designed buildings, public spaces, and furniture. Made short films. Spoken at beat nights and open mics. I paint, make music, and sing, quite a lot (and luckily, my family agrees I should). One day soon, I’ll write that book. Not because I have to, but because the words keep showing up anyway.

Art, music, and culture make my life rich. I love theater and festivals, though with a family, that’s on a lower flame for now. From dance to cabaret, from spoken word to street theater, I’m all in. I can cry at a song, get lost in a museum, or be moved by a line on a wall. Culture isn’t a side dish for me, it’s oxygen for my soul.

My body loves to move. I’ve played football, skated, climbed, practiced yoga, done CrossFit, and danced (far too little). These days, I walk a lot. Not to be the best, but to give my body attention, my mind a pause, and to feel alive. Movement isn’t a discipline to me, but a joy, a way of coming home in my body.

Don’t wake me up for anything, please don’t, because sleep is sacred to me. I go to bed early; I’m simply a much nicer human when I’m rested, especially for myself. Exceptions: the house is on fire, or my family needs me.

I love variety; deep conversations and concrete action, planning and improvising. Never one straight line, always layered. I don’t cling to fixed beliefs; I move freely and stay curious about new perspectives. That’s where the richness of being human lives for me.

I’m not the diplomatic type. I take a stand, let myself be moved, and speak up when something matters. What happens in the world concerns me, and I won’t stay quiet just to keep the peace. I believe in speaking up, even when it’s uncomfortable. In choosing, even when it rubs. And in listening, especially when it’s tense. Real connection doesn’t ask for neutrality, but for courage. For humanity. For staying present, even when it pinches.

So yes, this is me. Multi-colored, curious, in motion.
Always looking for real connection.

If, after reading this page, you feel called to get in touch,
send me an email at message@tamaracatharina.com.